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I can't please everyone and you might disagree with something I've said so share your view - just don't be a dick about it.

Thursday, 10 March 2011


As we put the kids to bed last night, I noticed a large black spider in the corner of the ceiling between the kids bedroom and ours. 

Now, we don't have too many creepy crawlies in england that can do too much harm to a human so it wasn't a case for the baseball bat but it was enough for me to go, "cor look at that kids"!

The four of us stopped what we were doing and stood silently 'appreciating' the thing. 

We put the kids in bed and said goodnight.

As we walked across the landing to the top of the stairs, I said to Him, "do you think we should leave him there? I don't want him crawling across the kids faces whilst they're sleeping".  He replied that the spider would be fine up there and to just leave it be and we went back downstairs.

It was still just sitting there as we retired for the night and yet He was adamant that we should just leave it as it wasn't doing any harm. So we did.

The next morning, this morning, we were charging about getting dressed and making coffee and brushing hair and kids teeth etc but I did notice that the spider had gone. 

I don't know about you but I prefer it when I know exactly where they are, so the sudden realisation that it had got bored of watching us from the ceiling and had ventured onwards, to explore our home, didn't fill me with joy.  Still, we had to get ready for work and nursery so we just carried on.

Our son has learnt how to wink and was making us laugh a lot this morning because far from looking cool when he does it, he looks just like one of the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz...
the ones that sang 'we represent, the lollipop guild'... and our daughter was refusing to let me brush her hair, so I had to wrestle her on the floor in the kitchen, ridiculous!

I kissed them all goodbye and they left. 

I was already dressed in loafers, thick patterned tights, smart grey shorts and a top.  I just had time to down my coffee and run upstairs to brush my teeth before leaving too.

Standing in the bathroom,  looking in the mirror and pulling 'teeth brushing faces', I felt a sharp nip on my right thigh.  Like a pin prick.  I pulled my shorts up to see if the label has scratched me and I got another sharper nip, panicking, I brushed my hand across my thigh and felt my palm roll across something. As I looked closer, (hoping up and down on the spot at this point) I saw the big black spider trying to wriggle out of my tights! 'AAAAGGGGHHHHHH JEEEEEEEESUSSS"!  I SWORE A LOT AS I SAW THAT THE BLOODY THING HAD OBVIOUSLY CLIMBED INTO MY TIGHTS AND WAS TRAPPED INSIDE THEM,.......WITH MY LEG!

I got him out and stared at him, all rolled up and dead on the bathroom mat.  I have goosebumps even now! 

The last time I felt that sudden panicky fear was when I was swimming in a lake in Australia and some old local chap shouted across to me from the land, "ERE LAV, there's an eight foot baracuda in there that'll suck the thong roight off ya foot"!



  1. Come on. How BIG is a big spider in the UK? Size of the palm of your hand? Or the size of your entire hand?

    I hate spiders too. My husband picks them up and takes them outside. Even the HUGE ones (huntsman).

    I recall when my son learned to jump. It was very exciting. He no longer jumps. He just slumps.

  2. In my tights,he was the size of a big walnut... outside of my tights he was like a sqaushed raisen.
    It was the cicada's in Oz that I hated...

  3. Aww, poor thing. There are a few 'poisonous' spiders native to the uk but their bites at worst will cause nausea, swelling and infection of local areas - Cross/Garden Spider is one which is patchy brown, beige, red and black colouring overlaid by a cross of pale spots on the abdomen. Their legs are quite spiny. body is about an inch long.
    The biggest native UK spider is the raft spider.
    Of course you can have the exotic pet tarantula that escaped :)

  4. It was luckily none of these. It definitely bit and left a red dot.