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I can't please everyone and you might disagree with something I've said so share your view - just don't be a dick about it.

Friday, 11 February 2011

News Stories

Leopard Attacks Cyclist

I read today that a 32 yr old man in South Africa was attacked by a leopard as he rode to work.  The crazed beast leapt at the man clawing his head but he managed to fight the animal off and was taken to hospital and released later that day. 

Someone give that man Employee of The Month!?!

Think of him next time you're effin and jeffin at the station coz there's a wasp buzzin round your face,  or you have to swerve to miss the squirrel in the middle of the road.  Or 'it's a bit icy' and you can't get in.

We've become weak! I think maybe it'd be a good idea to toughen us up a bit if, for your appraisal once a month, your boss set an obstacle course of terror to see what kind of employee you were and how you reacted under pressure. 

Are you really worthy of that promotion? TAKE THAT! as a whoop of baboons pull you from your car, knockin your latte flying! POW! as you get your hair squiffed up by a cackle of snarling hyenas... RRRRAAAAGH you finally burst through the office door wearing a sparked out crocodile as a scarf.


  1. Right, sorry, my self imposed gag has been removed!!! That soft beggar can NO WAY be called employee of the month Woman!!! He did not make it in to work as he was in hospital...thus can no way be tagged as superior to his work peers in the hunt for the most dilligent worker. Sorry. Harsh but Fair! and whilst I am on the subject of the gag, Greavsie, am I the only follower with fingers? Why oh why is no-one else contributing.... (I am even contributing to the windyness by quietly parping every time I cough this evening) xx S

  2. Hold on a minute, he got his head clawed by a giant wld cat on his way to work AND FOUGHT IT OFF !!!! He'd get my vote.

  3. I am not on the sofa :) I am on the wooden floor...!! Sometimes, I llike to pretend there's been an earthquake lol xx

  4. I should think he did fight it off, wouldn't that be your normal reaction to being attacked by anything?! If he discharged himself from hospital to go to work after then he can have employee of the month, reckon i'd have taken the afternoon off though...