Right, what really fcuking annoys you?
I'm gonna have a bit of a rant now because it's been one of those weeks, topped off with a weekend that is thus far, NOT MY OWN!
And now I have finally got the kids to sit quietly with their new painting sets and A BLOODY ALARM HAS GONE OFF.
One of those quiet, piercing, persistant alarms. Like a watch alarm. But this one has been tidied away by HIM in a box that is so high up, I cannot reach it to turn the fcuking thing off. I will just sit here, angrily tapping away at the keyboard while it runs it's course. HEAD POUNDING!
Two minutes pass and the beeping stops.
All week at work, I have people in my ear who cannot seem to do anything for themselves, apart from whinge, breed, smoke, demand and swear. I get sworn at, shouted at, called names and literally, personally blamed for the fact that these scrotes have to pay the same bills as me.
About 1 in 20 callers are pleasant. Human. Socially skilled. About 1 in 40 make a polite compliment about my manner in comparison to the rudeness they normally get when they ring a number marked, 'This Way For Help' and that makes me feel a little bit better. A little less of a c*nt. (sorry but I am ANGRY).
Anyway, I know we all look forward to our own time at the weekend but I think anyone who works with the public, (yes, I know I am one of them) needs their own time even more than others who do jobs they really wanted.
I don't know what the pressure is like for Mick jagger, or Steven Hawking but I expect they get to tell people the truth so often that they don't feel suffocated by the time friday afternoon comes smiling sleepily, (unless Mick's into auto-asphyxiation and then that's his choice so it doesn't count). I'd like to assume Mr Hawking prefers a ruddy hard game of Scrabble.
So, sometimes it get's to the weekend and the kids will not behave. I am better than the other half at disciplining the kids, so I tend to do it.
When we have a third child here, the usual two, my son in particular, misbehaves....a lot.
After a week of 'talking to brick walls', the last thing I want is to be ignored in my own home, in my time.
I have watched Supernanny and I like to think I had a fair idea what was 'assseptable' and also what was 'totally unasssseptable' anyway, otherwise I wouldn't have had children. Unlike others who have kids and expect society to pick up the pieces.
Juggling my time is tricky, to say the least. I hardly see my friends any more. They are not local and it costs a lot to get there but also, as a working mum, I feel guilty leaving my family for half the weekend. I also feel guilty leaving Him a) for half the weekend with the kids and b) to go and have fun whilst he has worked bloody hard all week too. I then feel guilty for not seeing my friends, who have been there for me throughout.
We have to juggle with hours, here and there, let alone half weekends!
As I have probably mentioned before, I am three stone over weight. I try to stick to regular exercise classes/ gym sessions but this is sporadic and unless something is regimented, I give up and lose heart. For instance, I went to a body pump class and remembered how much I used to like it and as I happily tried to book a second class, I remembered I couldn't because He is going to see the football that evening and so I have to be at home.
I am using this blog as an outlet for the real me who is stilted all week and yet I feel guilty if I'm on it for too long, although He gets to shoot people on the XBOX while I'm blogging!
There's a lot of guilt, so I tend to end up doing nothing. My decision - I'm not blaming anyone.
Today, I have suggested four times that He goes with child 3 for a couple of hours to give us all a break, as child 2 will behave when child 3 is not around. This will allow my headache to dissolve and stop the potential waste of a weekend and the precious 'me time'.
He refused, saying he'd like to go out all together - (I think this is to placate me and to make me not feel abandoned)!
He drove us all to an interiors shop, (it's raining) and we all pile inside. I have child 1 & 2 in a trolley and request that He and child 3 walk off and have a look around. They do.......... for about 5 minutes. Child 3 is literally under my feet, blocking the aisle, or standing behind me, so close that if I step back I will tread on him.
By the time we get back to the car, my head is POUNDING. Child 2 is being his naughtiest, egged on by Child 3 who is being sneaky. Child 1 is trying to go to sleep and getting grumpier by the second.
I shout. He comments that Child 3 'hasn't done anything' and by now, it is Saturday lunchime. To me, half the weekend has been wasted, fraught and agitated.
We pull up at the supermarket and I know I cannot go in there. I suggest, (in a firm manner) that He and child 3 go in together.
While they are in the store, I have asked child 2 to get back in his seat 3 times. I have (wrongly I know) threatened him each time with BED! when we get home.
I sit in the passenger seat, the shouting, naughty children behind me. My shoulders are by now, touching my earlobes.
I ring Sarah.
Sarah is relaxed. She has done all her housework and is just about to watch Avatar, stretched out on her sofa, in her gorgeous, child unfriendly home, (there is glass, sharp corners, fragile ornaments and general, stain - free neatness).
Rather than be jealous of her enviable state of togetherness, I just laugh and chat away. Letting off steam and getting excited for her evening ahead, (that's her business and I daren't divulge details on here ;)
I feel better.
There are a few people in this world who have a natural calming effect on me.
Sarah is one of those people. Marie is another. I said in my very first post on here, that Marie should be a therapist.
The third person I actually don't know but have been reading her blog, 'Linda and her twaddle', for the last couple of weeks, since realising via my blog profile, that we have the film, 'The Witches of Eastwick' in common.
I really must recommend her blog. It, for me, is like reading a magazine that is filled with constantly good articles. No fillers.
He has finally taken child 3 out for a walk and to watch the rugby.
Thanks to all that and talking to you lot, I am beginning to calm.
My brain is actually feeling smaller, as though it had swelled and was ready to burst out of my skull before.
Before I stop my rant though, i'd just like to add that;
- talking LOUDLY, next to someone who is on the phone,
- interrupting others conversations
- asking people questions and then not listening to their answers,
- cutting off the corners as you drive into a junction so you're on the other side of the road
- telling someones business to a 3rd party who they dislike
- talking in a baby voice if you are NOT a baby
- and eating with your mouth open, so you sound like a dog licking it's nuts IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING!