Maybe Adaptation, with Nicolas Cage?
We are in need of just sitting, in the dark, staring at the box, cuddling and farting into the sofa.
Anyway, the working day wasn't so bad. One of the systems was being updated which meant less calls came through for one of the busiest services plus I got out an hour early.
It's bloody freezing though. Finally thought we were finished and done with the cold weather. I'd even started my annual panic about having to wear lighter clothing and exposing more flesh due to the sun beaming down like an evil stage light!
So, I'm typing this before I go to a 'programme review' at my gym.
All I did was email them, asking if they knew which exercise class was best for fat burning. Next thing I know, I have agreed to 'Clare', going through a 'programme review' in the gym. Clare is about 16, literally. I have seen her go through the different machines with people my age. I don't think she actually listens. How can she possibly know how hard it is to 're train abdominal muscles' at that age!?
Maybe she will be fantastic, like my very own Tracy Anderson, or probably more like Richard Simmons...
Tracy says : Madonna is my star pupil, it's Gwyneth who gives me cheek |
Richard says : the invisible woman has been my toughest challenge in all my 100 years in this business! |
So, I am off.
I forfeited shaving my legs so i could pop this post on. Hopefully Clare-a-belle won't get too close whilst I'm puffing away on the rowing machine. She'd better not lean across me to turn the resistance dial up or she could slice a finger off on my shin stubble!
I will share any hints or tips she may give me. As it's free and they are currently, desperately advertising 'personal trainer sessions', I doubt she'll give any secrets away but who knows.
Here are a few tips, not all related to exercise;
- The best cure for a hangover - coconut milk. From inside a proper coconut, not a tin!
- when you by cans of drink in fours and you get the plastic rings that hold them all together, rip them apart before throwing it away to avoid strangling small animals & sea life!
- keep nail varnish in the fridge - Sarah says it stops it going gloopy
- when freshly painted nails have dried, do the washing up. The warm, soapy water removes all surplus varnish from your skin.
- To ease period pain, put your bum and back against the wall and wind your waist/ hips - this was also quite nice for mild labour pains!
- If you feel anxious, like an anxiety attack is about to start, say 'BRING IT ON'. This does actually work and somehow dissolves the anxiety.
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